Healing After Trauma: Learning to Trust Yourself Again

Deanna Butcher
Dec 17
4 min read

Updated: Dec 22

A journey of self-awareness, nervous system rewiring, and stepping into your best self.

By Deanna Whitelock (Butcher)

A woman, concerned, healing through trauma

Healing from trauma is one of the most courageous — and confronting — experiences a person can have. Many people imagine healing as soft, peaceful, or instantly liberating. But in truth, real healing often begins with discomfort.

It begins with shaking, unraveling, remembering.

It begins when your triggers rise to the surface, and your body finally feels safe enough to express what it could not express before.

And for many survivors, especially those who have endured long-term emotional or psychological abuse, healing also brings an unexpected companion: fear.

Fear of doing well.

Fear of feeling better.

Fear of stepping into your power.

Fear that the moment you rise, the other shoe will drop — because that’s what always happened before.

But healing asks you to rewrite that story.

It asks you to meet yourself again.

It asks you to trust yourself for the first time in your adult life.

A woman, red hair, standing near water, happy and enjoying life.

Understanding Triggers: What They Are Actually Showing You

Triggers are not signs that you’re broken — they are signs that your body remembers.A trigger is simply a door opening to an old wound that has not fully healed yet.

You might feel triggered when:

Someone raises their voice
You make a mistake
You try to rest
You start to feel happy
You receive affection or praise
You begin to succeed
You feel confident, beautiful, or grounded
You finally put yourself first

Why these moments? Because for many trauma survivors, these exact experiences were punished, mocked, or used against them. Your nervous system learned to associate “good feelings” with danger.

This can look like:

Not eating even when you're hungry
Not sleeping even when you're exhausted
Avoiding going outside
Withdrawing from friends or family
Sabotaging progress
Feeling guilty for self-care
Expecting punishment when things start going well

These behaviours weren’t failures — they were adaptations. Your body was protecting you the only way it knew how.

Now, your healing invites you to unlearn these patterns.

A woman laying down, finding comfort. Perhaps is sad and stressed.

The Discomfort of Healing: Why It Feels So Hard

Healing asks you to step into emotional territory that once felt unsafe. It asks you to face parts of yourself that long hid in the dark. It asks you to feel, to see, and to acknowledge what you survived.

And that can feel:

Uncomfortable
Vulnerable
Confusing
Exhausting
Lonely
Terrifying

You may even wonder:

Why is getting better so hard?

Why can’t I just feel good?

Why do I panic when nothing is wrong?

Here is the truth many people never hear:

Your nervous system doesn’t know yet that you are safe.

It learned survival, not peace.

It learned vigilance, not rest.

It learned to expect punishment, not freedom.

So when you finally have peace, it doesn’t feel natural — it feels suspicious.

But this is where the real work begins. This is where you start rewriting your internal story.

Rewiring Your Mind and Body: Teaching Your System That You Are Safe

Healing is not just emotional — it is neurological. You are literally rewiring your nervous system.

This may include:

Learning to eat consistently
Sleeping without guilt
Allowing yourself rest
Feeling joy without fear
Saying “no” without panic
Letting yourself be supported
Trusting your own decisions
Setting boundaries and sticking to the

These small acts are powerful.

They are how you teach your body a new truth:

I am safe now.

I deserve to feel good now.

There is no danger in my healing.

Your old life may have punished your growth —your new life will not.

This time, no one is waiting to knock you down.

This time, there is no shoe about to drop.

This time, you get to rise.

Happy middle-aged woman in a back garden.

Building Self-Awareness: The Path Forward

Self-awareness is the compass of healing. It allows you to pause when old patterns arise and gently redirect yourself back to truth.

When your mind races or fear rises, practice stopping and saying:

I am safe now.

I am allowed to heal.

I am worthy of rest and nourishment.

I am beautiful.

I am smart.

I am kind.

I am capable.

I am loved.

I am becoming the best version of myself.

These statements are not clichés — they are neurological retraining. Every time you speak to yourself with compassion, your brain forms new pathways. Your body slowly learns to trust you. Your spirit begins to expand again.